Awkward Tea Time?

I feel like I have swallowed some hot steal and it is now solidifying in my stomach, but don't worry because it's all good.

Last night I was left in a potentially awkward situation and, as usual, I created an even greater awkward situation in an attempt to remove any awkwardness.

My roommate brought a friend over to stay for the night but then my roommate disappeared and I was left alone with this friend. While it was really fun to get ready for bed with a battle waging in my head, say something, anything at all really kicked be quiet and revel in the awkward silence right in the bum because all of a sudden I said "if you'd like, I have a few different teas and we could make some tea before we go to bed."

Luckily this friend said she really loved tea and we spent the next few minutes smelling tea and discussing different tea related things.

Even though she didn't end up choosing anything, I thought that the whole thing was a remarkable success and I went to bed fully prepared to drift off into a peaceful slumber. I was prepared... but I didn't drift very quickly. I was still partially awake when my roommate came back and got herself ready for bed.

She was just having a quiet little chat with her friend but when I very clearly heard my roommate say "her tea collection?!" followed by some laughter, I could feel my something sickeningly heavy form in my stomach.

*Inner battle again*
Oh my goooosh I should just hide my teas. I should just take my box of tea somewhere else and stop being so dorky
vs
Screw what anybody else has to say about that, I'll do what I want. What in the world am I feeling uncomfortable about? 

It was a very strange moment, I felt like I was outside of my mind and I was simply a spectator watching on as mature-confident-Dorothy comforted intimated-self-conscious-pre-Wasatch-Academy-Dorothy.

Is there any reason to be ashamed of something that brings happiness? Tea makes me incredibly happy and I remember, very vividly, cheering myself up by thinking about moving in with my previous roommate and being able to use her tea kettle. That is literally what I would say to myself to snap out of a bad mood.

And it did cheer me up. It did more than cheer me up.

If I didn't feel like getting out of bed and facing the world? That's alright, I only needed to get out of bed to start boiling the water for some tea.
If I didn't know how I was going to make it through my homework all I really needed to do was make it through a cuppa (and the next cuppa and the next cuppa).
If I felt like crying and screaming and banging my fists on the floor... I only needed to hold my mug in my shaky hands, sip on the hot hot liquid, blow the steam from my mug and remind myself that it would all be better eventually.

Yes, I have quite a lot of tea. No, I'm not going to hide it or the fact that I love it. And I'm not embarrassed because, honestly, why should I be?

Just trying to sort out my feelings. Happy tea drinking!

Sincerely, Dot


ps. I think that passion about anything at all is a really stunning thing. No matter if your passion doesn't make sense to a few other people, never let your passion die! Nothing is worse than apathy.

pps. I am going to put my kettle on so let me know if you want some tea before we go to bed (: